On stupid offensive t-shirts

scifigrl47:

My grandmother once said to me, in that dignified, calm way of hers, “I love truck nuts.”

And I was like, “Wha-  Excuse me?”

"I love those little plastic testicles that people can buy and put on their truck hitches," she said.  "Because I can tell at a glance that the person is a horrible, offensive moron, and save myself from having to find this out via a conversation.  It’s a wonderful time saver when you belong to a motor home club, dear."

She is right.  Every time some idiot comes up with a t-shirt that says “Go make me a sandwich” or “No fat chix,” that is a kindness on their part.  They are doing women, right thinking men, and society in general a great public service.

So that we can tell the douchebags at a glance.  So we can determine, without a single word, that this person:

A. thought that this shirt was funny

B. no, seriously, they found that funny enough to SPEND MONEY ON IT

C. and has no one in their life to tell them that wearing it out in public is unacceptable

And is therefore not likely to be someone anyone wants to interact with. Turns out Gramma was right; it’s a great time saver in fan circles, too.

dr-kara:

assvengers:

"…is that a cardboard cutout of Thor?"

"HE HAD A THING NOW DO YOU WANT THE DAMN DORITO OR NOT"

omg im gomen this stopped being funny after i had more than two hours of sleep but it’s been on my hard drive since i saw iron man 3 so i quickly finished and posted it

OH MY GOD THIS IS THE BEST THING

zilleniose:

itsy bitsy friendly peacock spider boy!

zilleniose:

itsy bitsy friendly peacock spider boy!

raideo:

I must preserve your tags

he inhaled his scent. he smelled of (ingredient 1), (ingredient 2) and something undefinable, that was uniquely (name of buttsex partner)
every single fanfiction uploaded in the last two years oh my god  (via brood-of-froods)

kellamartinart:

Weird bird monster sketches. An excuse to draw fun, mutant wings.

daskingu:

Bleh.

daskingu:

Bleh.

askemmetstyle:

"I fell off a five story building. How do you expect me to take care of a kid?!"

supernikoe:

bonerventure:

eniko look its gcbc

supernikoe:

bonerventure:

eniko look its gcbc

image

wickershire:

swanjolras:

HEY HEY HEY HEYYYYYYYY MY FAVORITE QUEER DRUNK ASSHOLE POET TURNED 450 TODAY (and let me tell you, there is a lot of competition for the title “favorite queer drunk asshole poet”)

BUT as we all know, there is some controversy over who ACTUALLY wrote…

paingineering:

bad cop has had it up to HERE with gangly space nerds
ok i did it now everybody else do it so its not weird

paingineering:

bad cop has had it up to HERE with gangly space nerds

ok i did it now everybody else do it so its not weird

hardly-questionable:

mttyshealy:

LETS PLAY THE “TYPE THESE WORDS IN YOU R TAG BOX AND POST THE FIRST AUTOMATIC TAG THAT COMES UP” GAME: DIRTY WORD ADDITION OK

  • fuck
  • shit
  • dick
  • no
  • hell
  • sex
  • damn

I CANT STOP LAUGHING


 

Scent

I finally figured out something I was missing

quokkaa:

i didnt know what to do for a final background but wow look this could pass for finished lol

LOOK AT HOW CUTE MY FRIEND’S ART IS

quokkaa:

i didnt know what to do for a final background but wow look this could pass for finished lol


LOOK AT HOW CUTE MY FRIEND’S ART IS

bluandorange:

bluandorange:

okay but can you imagine like

a week after your truck gets stolen out of the goddamn mall parking lot, you get a knock on the door and there’s fucking Captain America standing there. Says he’s here about your goddamn truck. And for a moment you wonder if he started working for the police now that Shield took a dive, but you don’t say so, you just nod when he describes your truck to you, license plate number, make, model and color, all to a tee. 

And then the weirdest thing happens (weirder than Captain America just showing up at your front door). Captain America starts looking bashful. And then he tells you your truck was lost ‘in the line of duty’. You must still look a little awestruck because he elaborates; he’s the one who took your truck. 

Captain America fucking stole your goddamn truck out of the goddamn mall parking lot.

And he’s going to pay for a new one. And he’s very, very sorry.

He comes with you to the car dealership, too. Because he’s so so sorry, also he gets military discount, so he can help you.
he is so so sorry